That somber drench of sorrow leaves a deep cut on one’s soul to last a lifetime. No one deserves this emotional scar, but as humans, we each face grief at some point in our lives.
Grief is a natural response to loss. It is how our emotions communicate with our sad reality. And whether you have lost a close family member, friend, or dog, the sense of grief is often an individual experience. A feeling of despair so hard to assess.
It can occur even in the subtlest circumstances like changing jobs, moving to a different house, or graduating from high school.
In 2021, I lost my sister to a blood clot. I still remember her deep stare as she breathed her last. I was saddened, but I did not shed a tear despite being surrounded by screams of agony.
It is the only time I have seen my dad cry.
It made me feel ashamed as I didn’t cry enough, at least not as much as my siblings. And this led to some research where I learned that crying was not the only sign of grief.
Despite your loss, there is no right or wrong way to grieve. However, there are healthy ways to deal with grief.
How Can I Cope With Grief
How you deal with grief varies with personality. However, these are the most common ways to handle grief.
Allow Yourself to Grieve
Grief does not go away if you ignore it. That is only a myth. Allow yourself to cry because it is a natural reaction.
You do not have to cry, and that is okay. Instead, allow yourself experience your loss by expressing and sharing your emotions the best way you know.
Spend some time alone connecting with your emotions and allowing yourself to feel. Acknowledging your grief and allowing yourself to feel the pain is the first step to healing.
You can do some writing or listen to music during this time to help you along.
Join in Rituals
Join other people that share your pain if you have lost a loved one. Being with people who also knew and loved the person you lost can be comforting.
Take part in the requiem prayers and funerals, and listen to people talk about and celebrate the person you loved through memories.
It should help comfort you and know that you are not the only one feeling sad about the loss. Remember that your feelings are valid, and it is okay to grieve.
Live Everyday As It Comes
Going through a grieving period can be challenging. You do not want to make it more difficult by planning your life months. Take it easy for at least a year after losing a loved one.
Live each day as it comes and make it count by doing something special for yourself. For example, take a walk, do some yoga, and meditate.
You could reset to making a daily routine. Small victories each day will make you feel better, help you deal with your grieving, and give you greater purpose in life.
Talk to Somebody When You Are Ready
Some people find it hard to talk to others about ones they’ve lost, and that’s okay. If you get this way, it is alright to keep to your grief yourself for some time.
However, you must surround yourself with a support system like family and friends as you grieve. Accept offers to help and when you are ready, talk to somebody about your loved one. If you would rather not, it is alright to spend time with other people.
Perhaps write a journal instead, do not feel pressured to talk about it.
Seek Professional Help
If you find it difficult to move past your grief, seek help from a therapist. That grief is often referred to as “complicated grief.”
You may find trouble keeping up with your routine, thinking that life is not worth living, having thoughts of self-harm, and feeling depressed.
Talking to a therapist will help you explore what you feel and learn some coping skills to help you deal with grief better.
If what you are feeling is depression, your doctor is in a position to prescribe some meds to make you feel better.
You may feel lured to numb the pain with drugs and alcohol due to deep emotional pain. Seeking professional insight will help you understand that these temporary escapes cannot heal you faster but may lead to more suffering.
Stay away from alcohol or minimize consumption and avoid recreational drugs altogether. Alcohol and drugs can be a band-aid, but they only keep you from your reality for a short spell.
And the cycle of abusing these can have severe effects on one’s mental recovery.
Create Positive Memories
After my loss, I decided to use a chopping board whenever I was chopping anything in the kitchen. My aunt believed in using a chopping board at every opportunity.
In my small way, I feel like I am honoring her memory every time I use a chopping board or get one of my friends to buy one.
Honoring the life of your loved one makes you feel better because it gives you a precious memory to hold to heart.
One of the most effective ways is to write a letter to your deceased loved one, keep a journal about the memories you once shared, and collect photos or other keepsakes that remind you of them.
They will help you find purpose after loss.
Look After Your Health
Taking care of your physical health after loss will help you deal with grief. Start visiting a local gym or a yoga class and get regular exercise or commit to walking or running.
Aim for at least 6-8 hours of sleep each night and eat healthily. Having a healthy, well-rested body will boost your mental health and leave you feeling much better.
Prepare to Survive Anniversaries
Holidays, birthdays, and other vital anniversaries may trigger powerful feelings of grief.
Prepare to celebrate these occasions in a simple but subtle way. For example, light a candle, have friends over for dinner, have dinner at your favorite hangout, or light a candle.
Since my sister’s passing, my family often celebrates her birthday, and we all give our best Annie tales.
It might do you a great deal of good to spend this day surrounded by people that love you and are always there to support you.
At one point in time, we all carry the burden of loss. And unlike life’s many challenges, it is a bottomless dark pit. However, remember that your loved one would have loved to see you smile through their death as you once did when they were beside you.
Now you are ready to start your journey into this significant undertaking. Visit our blog to see more adventures you must experience.